Beware of Online Romance Scams (by Kathy Waters, MS)older hands on laptop

Older adults are often victims of online romance scams. This article gives you information to help you figure out if the person you are talking to online is a romance scammer.

You can find everything online, including love. We all want the happily ever after, someone to share the rest of our life with, tell our thoughts, dreams and desires. What happens when you think you have found your “true love” and weeks, months, maybe years later, you realize everything you were told was lies! What if this person has been manipulating your emotions just to get financial gain from you? People believe they will be able to recognize scams, but that is not always the case. Every day there are thousands of men and women falling victim scammers. Primary targets (but not limited to) of romance scams are men and women 50 years and older, widowed, divorced, retired, lonely and or in a vulnerable time in their life. The psychological and emotional hijacking that one endures throughout the scamming process can be financially devastating, and often causes psychological heartbreak, with some victims succumbing to suicide.  The victim’s heart is left empty and broken, their bank accounts drained, and nothing to show for their relationship.  An online romance scam is one of the most disastrous forms of cybercrime one can experience. According to the Internet Crimes Complaint Center, Romance Scams are number two in victim financial loss, costing victims $362,500,761 or more annually.

How to Recognize Online Romance Scams

Scammers are found on many online platforms. Scammers use dating sites, social interactive games, business forums, and any other app that brings people together. Are they easy to spot? Sometimes.  Are they easy to fall for? Ask the millions of survivors, I’m sure you will hear “yes”. Oftentimes the scammers’ stories consist of being in the military, working on an oil rig, even as a doctor conducting humanitarian work. A child is often times added to the “script” along with being widowed. The intent is to pull on the heartstrings of the victim resulting in emotional and psychological manipulation along with financial abuse.

Here are some red flags to look for when asked to be friended by someone on social media that you have never met.

  1. The account is newly created.
  2. The account does not have many photos.
  3. The account holder has only female or male friends.
  4. The account holder seems to have two first names and not a last name.
  5. The account holder is not “tagged” by friends.

If the account holder starts a conversation with you, here are more red flags that will help you determine if you may be conversing with a scammer:

  1. They will always be the one to approach you.
  2. They will be quick to use terms of endearment such as “babe”, “dear”, and “queen”.
  3. They will request to talk on an alternative chat platforms such as Viber, Whatsapp, and Hangouts.
  4. They will ask for gift cards (iTunes cards preferably) and/or wire cash.
  5. They will have poor spelling and use improper English.
  6. Always have excuses not to Facetime.

Help for Victims

If you feel you have been a victim of an online romance scam, do not stay silent. A problem cannot be addressed if never known. Reporting to the Internet Crimes Complaint Center will not only show how many victims have been affected, but it can also help provide information needed to open or create a case. Another reporting option would be through the Federal Trade Commission. The FTC are regulators of fraudulent business practices and work with law enforcement to help with consumer protection.  Reporting to both entities are highly recommended. Along with reporting to the Federal agencies, a person’s psychological well-being is just as important. If you feel you are having a hard time coping with the reality of the crime do not hesitate to seek additional therapeutic help by a licensed therapist or psychologist.

If one piece of advice can be given, it would be the one all of our parents instilled in us, and that would be to never talk to strangers. In addition to your online safety, you should always listen to your intuition, make all of your platform settings private and never ever send money to anyone you have not met in person or online.

Federal Trade Commission, www.FTC.gov

Internet Crimes Complaint Center, www.IC3.gov

To learn more visit https://advocatingforu.com/

Kathy Waters, MS has been an advocate for online scam reform for 3 years, with over 4,000 volunteer hours. She has been in the New York Times, Mel Robbins Show, Nightline, AARP’s Podcast ”The Perfect Scam” and many more…